February 2nd, 2021.  Last year at this time, things in our society were functioning normally and we all had every expectation of their likelihood to continue functioning normally.  Kids went to school, businesses opened and closed every day.  The foundations of our current snare had long since been organized, of course, by this time last year, but that was just for the conspiracy theorists to ponder.

I only mention this to suggest that there are only two kinds of people in the world, and you’ll know which one you are by which of these two reactions was yours:

Wow, so much has changed in a year.  It’s such a shame about the deadly virus and the 400 years of social injustice that we realized we’d better do something about, in the middle of the deadly virus, but at least Trump is out of office now and viruses, social injustice, and really just problems *as a concept* should evaporate any day now.


Wow, so much has changed in a year.  This is an IQ test we’re dramatically flunking.  Seriously what the fuck is February, 2022 going to look like, at this rate.

Just a little reality check, for anyone still dabbling in reality on at least an amateur level.

I’m extra conscious of the date because I’m kicking off Teal Swan’s 28-day Self Love challenge, this month, and all my readers are welcome to join, of course.  There’s a Facebook group that won’t include me because I’m off that, and encouragement to meditate love into a glass of water that you then drink each day.  But most importantly, she challenges us to ask ourselves this question, every day all day long, when faced with any decision, large or small: What would someone who loved themselves do?

Waking up and committing to some kind of blog or journal time, each day, has been a big self-loving move for me, this past year, and one I plan on continuing, so that’s solid.  We’ll find out out, as I remember to ask myself more and more, what else can come online, in more self-loving ways!

It might be one of those things where the exact type of person who’s willing to commit to a 28 day self-love challenge is also the type of person who doesn’t need it nearly as much as someone unwilling to commit to a 28 day self-love challenge ahaha.

I was just regaling my family and friends with the story, the other night, of how I read some years ago that everyone would benefit from bi-annual or at least annual colonic irrigation, since so many of our disease processes and disabilities fester, first, in our bowels.  Due to poor nutrition and elimination and all that, of course.  So I found a lady who did that, scheduled an appointment, and if you’ve never had one sorry for the TMI but the matter flushed out of your bowels passes through a clear tube in front of lights so it’s possible to see the color of it, how light or dark, meaning how long it’s been there and how impacted your shit might be, literally.

Most people don’t want to look at the underlying, maybe-unpleasant underpinnings of their existence. But to me truth is truth, and I want the truth, however good or bad.

So the punchline of the whole story is that my bowels and excretory system work perfectly, and there was no evidence of any problems or festering, accumulating junk, and basically the lady was like: congratulations, you’re the only client I’ve ever had who totally didn’t need to come here for this service.

I was like, hey, even better.  I mean, lifelong veg — kinda makes sense right?

So that’s an example of how my willingness to do a thing itself was an indicator that I probably didn’t need to do that thing nearly as much as someone unwilling to do that thing.

I guess the other punchline is that I love myself enough to feel free to tell that story to my friends and family during a birthday party, despite it being risky, but also my friends and family are such that they thought it was a great story.  Meaning, if you love yourself enough to tell a risky story, you probably also love yourself enough to have friends who will indulge your risky story because they like you and are interested in your experiences.

Anyway, the point isn’t that I already love myself enough, or that any of us love ourselves enough; the point is that February is a good time to make an extra push in the self-love direction.

Now, I do want to share a neat insight I got from an Abraham Hicks YouTube, the other day: a lady was asking why she can’t love herself as much as she loves others, no matter how she tries.  For a lot of people in the spiritual community, it’s become obvious that self-worth issues are the only issues.  I mean, like, all issues everywhere in the whole world stem from some combination of people’s self worth issues: ie, ‘you wouldn’t act that way if you loved yourself’.

So Abraham had a great reframe on that: when it comes to self-love, we’re VERBS, not nouns (my paraphrasing).  So, I can love Nick as a noun, because he’s this other entity I can stand back and look at, and project love towards.  But I can’t love myself that way because I’m the one doing the loving, which will necessarily feel different, and feeling different isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Another, maybe better analogy (my own, again) is, think of yourself as the magnifying glass, and love as the sun.  I can incinerate, with love, anything I focus on, where focusing just means holding my magnifying glass between that thing and the sun.  The only thing a magnifying glass can’t focus sun onto is itself.  It is the focuser, not the thing being focused on.

So I thought that was pretty cool, and worth sharing.  We feel best when we focus love through ourselves and onto other things and people, rather than scorn or judgement, obviously.  I focus scorn and judgement onto others, like, constantly, because I’m Hannah fucking Pralle, not the ascended fucking christ, but at least it’s a concept I’m grappling with, right?

So Teal Swan’s mandate to, all day long every day, ask ourselves: what would someone who loved themselves do?, is a great way of saying, in a sense, how should I angle the magnifying glass of myself now, and now, and now?

And all this leads me straight to my second meta-thought of the day, which is this: if there is a strong thread of pedovorism running through the upper echelons of society around the world, as I’d have to be brain dead at this point to not strongly suspect, then I guess my main question is: why?

Now…this is a more complicated ‘why’ than it may at first appear.  One of the things I love most about Law of Attraction type exercises is, they ask us to imagine functioning in greater abundance.  We’re all so accustomed to playing it small with our desires: I’d be happy if I could just lose ten pounds, I’d be happy if I could just get a raise, I’d be happy if I could just stop living in a society where people go from ‘2 weeks to flatten the curve,’ to ‘3 masks to stop the spread,’ to ‘you’re still contagious even if you’ve had the coof so get vaccinated anyway,’ to ‘you’re still contagious even if you’ve been coof-vaccinated so socially distance and 3 masks anyway,’ to ‘everything’s permanently fucked forever and you’re crazy and selfish to critique that in any manner, so here’s some more Biden,’ with really only vague, sheep-like murmurs of obligatory agreement.

Sorry, I got off-track.  Um: so we play it small time with our desires.  So, Law of Attraction exercises stretch our ability to imagine desire fulfillment, not by assuming we will finally be done desiring “then”, but by assuming we won’t ever be done desiring, and every new desire we achieve will only launch new, previously un-considered desires, and that that’s not only okay but perfect, and so really becoming better desire-ers is itself the desire.

That was probably confusing, so I’ll give an example.  One exercise you can try is this: in your imagination, spend one thousand dollars today.  Make it as tangible as possible: I’d pay off this small debt and buy new tires for my car, or whatever.

Tomorrow, spend two thousand dollars in your imagination.

The next day, three thousand dollars.

This exercise is intended to last one calendar year, and I’ve never made it past the first month, because I haven’t cultivated my imagination well enough to spend that much money.

Now, previous to trying this exercise, I had no idea that could ever be a limitation for me.  I really like money, I really like spending money, there are always a million things I want, and they all cost a lot more than what I have.  Probably most of us feel that way.

So the fact that my ability to imagine spending money can’t even withstand this exercise for a month, let alone a solid year, means that I suffer from some pretty small-time thinking.  I mean, once I’ve given myself everything I want, and then everyone else everything they want, and there’s a lot of traveling, and leaving outrageous tips for good service, and then established, like, the vegan and orphaned animal sanctuaries of my dreams, plus the initiative where all prisoners on earth have the opportunity to take care of all the shelter pets on earth, and I take care of anyone’s dental care who needs dental care because I’m fucking pissed about how hard it is for average people to get dental care, and so on and so forth, you know what I run into?  The issue where you realize that philanthropy can be a double-edged sword where you may incentivize the best, in others, or you may incentivize the worst.  And you have to think pretty fucking clearly about what you’re incentivizing in those around you, or those being influenced by you, even at my level of income; but you have to become, like, a laser at understanding that, at increasingly higher levels of income, and higher levels of philanthropy.

I mean, essentially, even a very money hungry and luxury loving person such as myself can only “soak up” so much wealth, and then it’s going to get splashed out onto an increasingly large radius of people, and I don’t want to take anything away from those people through disconnecting or distracting them from their own stream of desires, their own cultivation of ideas and creation, their own transactional dance with the universe and with desire.

And, of course, as anyone with money knows, you become a target, a mark.

It’s never going to occur to us to evolve, intellectually or spiritually, along those lines, if we don’t imagine functioning at a higher degree of abundance.  Which is, of course, the point.  When you ask yourself, “What do I really WANT?,” it behooves you to ask it at the highest level of imagined abundance possible, for the clearest possible answer.

So, given what I’ve just said and the spiritual work I’ve done around abundance and desire, I look at the evidence I have of the world’s ruling families, the Rothschilds controlling more than half the wealth of the entire world, the Illluminati embracing Luciferianism right from the get-to and then very deliberately insinuating itself into the Freemasons and world governments, business, entertainment, and media; inciting world wars and then funding the nations involved in those wars — the French Rothschilds lending the French government money for WW1, the German Rothschilds lending the German government money, the American Rothschilds lending the American government money, playing everybody off against each other in a literal 3 World War Plan, so on and so forth — and I’m like: really?  Y’all couldn’t think of something any better than that?

It’s, like…so underwhelming, when you really look at it.  Like, I’m over here thinking it would be tits to get everyone dental care, and they’re like, “The third world war will really take the themes from the first two and develop them to their most heinous illogical conclusion!  Yay!  Team Rothschild!”

So it’s in that meta-context I say: Jesus Christ they’re dumb.  Wealth the size of a planet, brains the size of a walnut.  Or more like a chickpea, really.  Because here’s the thing:

It doesn’t matter how good you are at fucking over other people, or other forms of consciousness — you’re still dumb as shit.  Like, in all the ways that matter, you’re dumb as shit.  You’re so limited, you’re like the vibrational IQ equivalent of these roosters that stand around our house and crow all day long.  Drt-d-drt-d-DRRRRRR!

So I guess what I’m saying is, ‘evil’ isn’t this risky, sexy, darkly glamorous alternative fast track to the lower, slower, consolation prizes of ‘good’.  ‘Evil’ is real, obviously, and whether there’s a legit ‘Satan’ or not, there’s definitely collective consciousness momentum that can be invoked and perpetuated and expanded by a lot of people focusing on one thing in one way, over time, and I get that blood sacrifice and deviant sex stuff and hurting people and getting hurt in initiation and adrenochrome and all that would tend to, like, ramp up the intensity of their collective focus.  That’s just vibrational physics, right there.  Thoughts are things, and the more momentum we add, the more powerful the process becomes — for ‘good’ or ‘evil’.

But ignoring questions of literal morality, for a moment, I just have to say, being bad simply isn’t very interesting, except at first.  There’s a floor, but no ceiling, to our vibrational possibilities, as eternal perspectives focused temporarily into physical bodies.  Or let me put it this way: any retard can go out and douse a bunch of people’s hopes and passions and livelihoods and prospects.  Alternately, and simply by existing and being reasonably decent human beings, we can go out and ignite people’s hopes and passions and livelihoods and prospects, because however doofy we may be, as individuals, we’re still magnifying glasses with the ability to focus sunshine.

A much more interesting approach to playing this video game called life — which, at the Rothschild level, for instance, is characterized by actually unlimited wealth and influence, in an actually multi-generational fashion — would be to see how much momentum can be initiated and expanded, going the OTHER direction.  How many other people’s candles can I light with my candle?  How many other people’s momentum can I supercharge with mine?  How many plates can I get spinning and then how many other people’s plates can they get spinning in harmony with my plates?  How many voices can be added to my choir, which people freely join of their own accord because it’s beautiful?

That’s what I mean about no ceiling.  There’s no upper limit.  None.  It’s a video game with infinite levels and infinite rewards, no matter what your “morality”.  Or, alternately — you can douse every candle flame you see, in evolvingly cruel ways, like a dumbass.  And then you can die and reincarnate and be one of these rooters standing around my house in Hawaii, and crowing, right now, because that’s all you’re vibrationally capable of, because that’s essentially all you could think to do in your previous incarnation, despite ‘having it all’. Drrrrrrrrrr.

So back to my meta-question, about the apparent pedovorism ETCETERA of the global elite: why??  Good lord, y’all are boring, once the shock wears off.

Anyway, that’s it for me.  There are little dogs to walk and straight legged deadlifts to accomplish and audiobooks to narrate.