All the news has been surreal, this year, but I saw the strangest thing so far, yesterday.  It was an interview with Pelosi, in the wake of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s passing, where she…glitched.  At first, they’re in the middle of it — Pelosi says “blah blah blah”, the interviewer on the other side of the split screen says, “So, you’re not taking any arrows out of your quiver, though?” (along those lines), and Pelosi just smiled beatifically, and silently.  We all know Pelosi doesn’t make use of the power pause; she’s in there, begging and ‘splaining and scratching around in the kitty litter as fast as she can, at all times.

So there’s this long pause…a smile…and then she says “Good morning.”  In dulcet tones.  And she just STANDS there and smiles, exactly like a little girl waking up, sleepy and cute, on the morning of her fifth birthday, knowing her parents are about to make a fuss of her.  Messy pigtails.  Trailing her teddy bear.  AND THEN she seems to become a tiny bit self conscious and adds, dulcetly, “It’s Sunday morning.”  (Which was correct: navigating…navigating…anchor.)  And then she very visibly recovers, becomes goddamn Pelosi again, and just resumes whatever bullshit she was saying.

I was like OH HELL NO.  That is some spawn of Satan stuff, mind control, or she’s a clone, or a Cylon that just came online, a sleeper agent that just accidentally heard a code word; I don’t know what.  It’s maybe odd that something so innocuous could interrupt my normal extension of presumed sanity.  All these crazy antics this year, and I’m over here doing mental gymnastics on people’s behalf trying to figure out what they’d have to believe and experience in order to for that [whatever] to make sense.  My suspension of disbelief was shattered by Pelosi’s glitch.  These are not reasonably normal people acting on reasonably sound impulses.  I know that probably sounds like understatement of the century, but I’m such a sucker.  I’ve been around people in chemically altered states and I’m always the last to realize it.  It just doesn’t occur to me.  I’m like, “why are you acting that way?,” in all innocence.

Actually, it probably has to do with two things: one, my parents were never in altered states around us, and two, my mom went off the rails sometimes without any chemical help.  So accessing that doubt: maybe this person is high on something? — isn’t a natural calculation for me to make.  And you know what?  Sometimes people are high on something.

Actually I remember seeing now, quite a few of the Antifa rioters were found to have stimulants in their systems, upon arrest.  I was like OOOHHHH.  Like a dummy!  I was honestly trying to figure out how you get that way sober, without even realizing it.  Of course they were on uppers.  It’s a vibrational universe, and the thoughts we think, the ways we act, the foods we eat, the substances we consume are all part of the compounding interest of whatever lower or higher frequency we’re operating at.  Of course chemicals would be part of it.

I don’t think that explains Pelosi though.  She’s obviously a puppet, like Don Lemon, but it’s meant figuratively, we’d hope.  I realized Pelosi is an actual human puppet, and probably there’s a lot more where that came from, and I’ve been encountering that (conspiracy theory) angle more and more but not really taking it in.

For some reason this puts me in mind of the Lighthouse meditation, which I’ve shared before.  It was suggested by Joseph, a non-physical entity channeled by a medium named Michael Reccia.  I’ll skip to the main point which is, you envision climbing up to the top of this lighthouse, you see the beacon, you become the beacon which is your heart broadcasting love to all the world, and you envision every soul on earth, every man woman and child, for 360 degrees to the horizon, turning towards you with their hearts.  You are the lighthouse now, and you pump out pure raw love, from your heart’s beacon, filling everyone up, bathing them all in radiance, recognition, spiritual light.  Their empty hearts get charged up, become suffused with love, reignited like batteries, and they turn back to their affairs reconnected and reinvigorated.

It’s a beautiful and powerful meditation, also slightly creepy, and a reminder to do what we forget to do: pray for our enemies.  Pray that they reconnect while ourselves refusing to disconnect from our source, from our beacon of love.  It’s a tall order but it’s tactical af — the ultimate high ground.

If an even slightly younger Hannah could see me now, blogging at a fire camp before the sun comes up and un-ironically using the phrase “pray for our enemies”, I would have done a spit take.  That’s so dramatic.  I mean even the word “enemies” — grandiose much?  But here I am.  They are enemies, and we should pray.  And obviously not political enemies, as I still refuse to conceptualize the world along those lines, but…the animated golems of bad magics.

Obviously Trump himself represents the animated golem of bad magic, in a lot of people’s minds (not mine), and so part of the hysterical gesture of this crossroads in our experience is believing the exact same thing as the people who oppose us but mutually pointing across the rubicon to the other side as to whose fault it is.

It’s Trump’s fault.  No, it’s the Deep State’s fault.

It’s cops’ fault.  No, it’s a lawless, fatherless, un-self-governing urban culture’s fault.

It’s the science deniers’ fault.  No, it’s a hoax, a sheep dip, funneling us towards some manufactured outcome.

I could go on, but the point that needs making is that the Lighthouse meditation, for instance, or praying for our enemies generally, is really the best approach because sometimes we’re the last to understand who our real enemies are.  And even if we got it wrong, who cares, if the point is praying for them.  A high tide raises all ships.

It’s sort of like the difference between herbal medicine and pharma.  If you’re going to take a pharmaceutical, or worse have surgery, you better be pretty fucking clear on what’s causing the issue and why.  And since we’re so fixated on symptoms, this is hardly ever the case.  If you’re supporting your system with herbal medicine, on the other hand, anything that needs support can absorb it, and anything that doesn’t, won’t.  All help, no harm, results not as immediate or dramatic, but so much less risk of misdiagnosis.  And misdiagnosis is, like, every human being’s middle name.

War, and conflict and violence generally, is like trying to fix a problem we don’t understand with surgery.  Praying for our enemies is so much better, all the way up to the point where we have to actually hit them in self defense, and it usually doesn’t come to that.  Whoever needs it can absorb it, and meanwhile we’ve done no harm.  I’m nothing if not a spiritual pragmatist.

And, pragmatically, I can also recognize that anyone who says, “I’ll pray for you” after some kind of altercation is a total asshole, and is the one who actually needs the prayer.  It sounds incredibly condescending to say, so don’t say it, obviously.  Just do it.  Anyone you’ve hardened your heart against so much that you can’t even pray for them IS who you need to pray for — plus, if you can’t, now you’re as much of a problem as them, energetically speaking.

So yeah, Pelosi had a glitch.  This is a time when we’re all having to ask ourselves, who’s really real, right now?  Who’s just straight up high, but like they might come down sometime?  And who’s, like, an animated golem of bad magic?

I was an animated golem of bad magic, yesterday — happens to all of us from time to time.  I was tasked with a bunch of extra stuff I don’t want to do and for which I won’t get paid, but which I also can’t avoid, and which will be the case for the remainder of this fire, and frankly I’d just bail if we didn’t need the money so much for our move to Hawaii.  So I had a really bitchy day, yesterday, but whatever, I’ll make the best of it.

Point being, we can all remember being at our best and at our worst, and it’s natural to extend that variability to others.  But some people’s worst isn’t just a bad day, it’s actual mind control harnessed to an agenda (I’m increasingly made aware).  It turns out you can manipulate people’s neural and emotional pathways quite reliably, especially with applications of strategic physical pain and psychological trauma.  Some people, we’d call them narcissists, do it intuitively and as a maladaptive strategy to circumstances they lived at one point —but it is possible, organizationally and large scale.  Is Pelosi some kind of robot?

A theme that keeps reoccurring in my blogs, without it even being my intention, is that I strongly feel we should eschew manipulation, wherever we identify it.  I feel pretty solid about that.  Anything that seeks to manipulate us is not a worthy influence.  “Exiting the matrix” is a phrase that means a lot to some people, yet remains a nothing-burger to others.  To me, “the matrix” means any and all factors that combine, diabolically or accidentally, to deaden, dull, stagnate, silence, dilute the human god-seeking impulse.  Confusingly, the matrix can look like “religion” and often has, so just because it says it’s not the matrix, don’t believe it.

We’re extra vulnerable to this if we don’t have a firm grounding in those spiritual principles which represent our compass: joy, freedom, and expansion.  Those states are our birthright as toasters.  Abraham Hicks always uses this analogy: our physical selves are like toasters, plugged into source energy.  The energy doesn’t die when the toaster dies, and the toaster can get unplugged and then plugged back in, and we’re not much more complicated than that, really.  So: joy, freedom, and expansion.  Any thing or combination of things that chronically distracts us from these principles, these natural toaster birthrights, is a form of manipulation, ie intentional disorientation.

So, we wander around trying to follow the good and deny the bad.  The reason we can’t sort all of the world’s influences into piles of good and bad and finally be done with it is because the things in the world aren’t the variable; WE’RE the variable.  What deadens my connection to source might enliven your connection to source, because you’re being called forward from a different point on the map than me.  That’s why consensus is a forever retreating mirage.

Now, I hate to get semantical, but I wouldn’t call anything that influences me towards joy, freedom, or expansion a “manipulation”, because those states necessarily have sovereignty at their basis.  This is one reason why I feel a fully explicated personal spiritual philosophy is worth pursuing, for everyone, as an internal compass.  Otherwise we’re just lost in the woods, asking other hikers for directions, and you know how that goes.  “You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything” — but be careful what you stand for; and let that thing be an outgrowth of your integrity, fully mapped.

Now, it’s possible to explicate a personal spiritual philosophy assuring ourselves that god is dead and everything is wrong, which is the exact opposite of the point but probably easier.  So having it “make sense” isn’t enough.  Any lazy person can look around and identify a problem; it takes a bit of work to identify a solution; it takes even more work than that to look both problems and solutions in the eye and say “all is well”.

The great thing about tackling these inner challenges (finding approval rather than disapproval, for instance, or legit praying for your enemies), even if we fail at it as I frequently do, is that we’re much less provoked into shadow boxing outer threats which we’ve probably misdiagnosed in the first place.  Mapping our inner integrity is a constant process, like breathing, which is constantly evolving, and keeps us out of trouble.  It’s not so much about “getting it right”, it’s about solving our own problems at their lowest possible level as a rule.

In conclusion, there’s a lot of different outlets to plug our toaster in to, representing the same electrical grid, but I don’t think any of those was what happened to Nancy Pelosi.  And I’m really just using her as bouncing off point for thought, because it was SO EFFING WEIRD, but the best takeaway is: I don’t need to know what happened to her.  I like to try on different theories, and social feedback implies I’m a lot more freewheeling with those theories than some people, and that’s fine, and at this point they’re all still on the table for me.  But I don’t need to know.  I’m too busy mapping my integrity, solving my own problems at their lowest level WHEN I REMEMBER TO, which is not always, and fortifying on the foundations of my own sovereignty.  That’s a meaningful enough exit from the matrix, and one we all have the power to initiate at any given time.

So many truisms are true, right up until the point that we say them out loud, when they then collapse into performance and affectation: be the change you wish to see in the world.  In a world of fakes, be the real thing.  Pray for your enemies.  When we’re motivated to use spiritual truisms as clubs to beat others with, game show buzzer, so let’s just do what we know to do.  Let’s not be easy to manipulate, and let’s certainly never seek to manipulate others.